The Welcome Speech

» Road to the Big House (1947, USA)

Road to the Big House - Guinn Williams as Butch McQuinn and John Shelton as Eddie Clark

There were several disappointments in this for me. The first (bearing no reflection on the film), was that the disc I watched skipped and stumbled and distorted and froze for much of the second half, so I think I may have missed a few key moments. Thankfully, there were too few prison scenes to make that a major disaster. That there were too few prison scenes to make that a major disaster was a disappointment. (more…)

Posted on January 25th, 2016 at 8:54 pm. Updated on July 9th, 2020 at 4:14 pm.

» Turkey Shoot (1982, Australia)

Turkey Shoot - Steve Railsback as Paul Anders and Olivia Hussey as Chris Walters

It’s a few years into the future. The Government is rounding up all its deviates in the community (people who don’t submit with abject obedience to its rules and standards), and putting them in prison camps for re-education and behaviour modification. A little reminiscent of the early 1940s, you’d think. (more…)

Posted on December 19th, 2015 at 7:50 pm. Updated on December 19th, 2015 at 7:50 pm.

» Chain Gang (1984, USA)

Chain Gang - Earl Owensby as Edward Ray 'Mac' McPherson and Don Law as Warden Harry Bates

This is another Earl Owensby vehicle, following on from Buckstone County Prison [aka Seabo] (1978) – both produced by and starring Owensby as a strong, silent-type prisoner in movies that pay homage to Cool Hand Luke (1967). Without the charisma. (more…)

Posted on December 10th, 2015 at 8:31 pm. Updated on December 10th, 2015 at 8:31 pm.

» Jailbird Rock (1988, USA / Argentina)

Jailbird Rock - Robin Antin as Jessie White and Robin x as Echo

I think it was when Warden Harold Bauman (Ron Lacey), in dismissing any idea of his prisoners putting on an artistic performance, said, “They’re not here to have fun. They’re here to be miserable,” that my wife asked, “Don’t you get sick of the same, same things all the time?”. Or it could have been earlier, such as at the arrival of the prisoner who doesn’t deserve to be in prison, or the tough prisoner running the show, or the ineffectual warden and his corrupt second-in-charge, or the earnest counsellor pushing for reform… It could have been at any point in the film, really. (more…)

Posted on November 22nd, 2015 at 5:10 pm. Updated on November 22nd, 2015 at 5:12 pm.

» A Warden’s Ransom (2014, Canada)

A Warden's Ransom - Diane Neal as Warden Samantha Brandtt and Tom Anniko as Head Guard Davis

Roundwood Prison’s Warden, Samantha Brandtt (Diane Neal) has a lot going for her. She is smart, attractive, compassionate, forthright, tough, an exceptional prison administrator and a highly skilled hand-to-hand combatant. But her 16-year-old daughter Kit (Jodelle Ferland) resents her success and blames her job for the break-up of her parents’ marriage. Oh, and her staff are almost uniformly corruptible and cognitively deficient. (more…)

Posted on November 8th, 2015 at 3:34 pm. Updated on November 8th, 2015 at 3:36 pm.

» Prison War 2 (2014, Nigeria / Ghana)

Prison War 2 - Salamatu Kargbo as Isha Kamara

I haven’t previously had much luck with Nollywood or Ghallywood offerings; their prison-themed films seem to me to be shot almost entirely in people’s living rooms. But this is a bona fide prison movie, set in Sierra Leone, accessible on YouTube, and is one that ensures you get your money’s worth: it is a traditional new fish in prison movie which morphs into a Fight Club movie and ends up as an escape movie. And even pauses at one point for a sweet song which includes the lyric, “When I kill is bad but I found pleasure doing it” before urging the listener to stay out of trouble. (more…)

Posted on October 31st, 2015 at 8:11 pm. Updated on May 7th, 2023 at 1:06 pm.

» Vendetta (2015, USA)

Vendetta - Dean Cain as Mason Danvers and Paul 'The Big Show' Wight as Victor Abbott

I feel for Dean Cain. I’m sure he wants to play serious prison roles, but in Dogboys (1998) he got to play an ex-Marine fighting killer prison dogs, and in New Alcatraz (2001) he had to play a palaeontologist fighting a giant prehistoric prison snake. Here he gets to play an ex-cop fighting a killer prison giant. (more…)

Posted on September 28th, 2015 at 9:47 pm. Updated on September 28th, 2015 at 9:49 pm.

» El Presidio (1930, USA)

El Presidio - Gabry Rivas as Joe, Juan de Landa as Butch Smith, and José Crespo as John Morgan

How different can an American Spanish-language film be from its near-identical English-language counterpart, when essentially the only difference is that Spanish-speaking actors are substituted for English ones? Quite a bit, really. (more…)

Posted on September 23rd, 2015 at 9:56 pm. Updated on September 23rd, 2015 at 9:56 pm.

» Rise (2014, Australia)

Rise - Nathan Wilson as Will McIntyre and Martin Sacks as Jimmy Cove

You know how sometimes one scene or one line in a movie just loses you, and you can’t find a way back in? Early in Rise nurse Will McIntyre (Nathan Wilson) is falsely accused of spiking the drink of and then raping a girl with whom he has had a one night stand. At his trial, the prosecutor asks the victim to tell the court what happened next. Falteringly, she begins with, “He had my arms pressed under…” and McIntyre’s barrister jumps up and interjects, “Your Honour, this is all hearsay evidence!” Eh? Really? (more…)

Posted on July 19th, 2015 at 1:38 pm. Updated on July 19th, 2015 at 1:42 pm.

» Chain Gang Girls – Nami: Shared Cell 42 (2007, Japan)

Chain Gang Girls - Yuka Kosaka as Nami Mizushima and Junichi Kawamoto as Warden Aihara

Nami Mizushima (Yuka Kosaka) is a determined young woman, intent on revenge. Innocent and framed by her prosecutor boyfriend over his killing of his lover, she is so controlled she remains continent after three days in a completely blackened room with her hands cuffed behind her back. (more…)

Posted on July 6th, 2015 at 9:02 pm. Updated on July 6th, 2015 at 9:02 pm.