The Mess Hall

» Death Warrant (1990, USA)

Death Warrant - Jean-Claude van Damme, flanked by two extras

I think it’s good to learn something new every day. I’ve just watched Death Warrant and I now know how to work as an undercover cop in a tough prison environment. First, use your own name. Fake names are apparently for wusses. Second, as soon as you’re inside, start asking lots of nosy questions; that won’t draw any attention to you, ever. Third, get your partner who is pretending to be your wife to do most of the background checking after you’re inside, so she can give you the low-down in the open, public visits area. Spontaneity is fun and so much more effective than preparation. Lastly, if it’s urgent, use your cell phone. Easy. (more…)

Posted on March 13th, 2010 at 4:38 pm. Updated on March 14th, 2010 at 8:45 pm.

» Prison of Secrets (1997, USA)

Prison of Secrets - Dan Lauria as Sgt Ed Crang and Stephanie Zimbalist as Lynn Schaffer

This is supposed to be inspired by actual events, but it’s not clear which actual events provided that inspiration. Methinks there’s a liberal dose of artistic licence being splashed about. (more…)

Posted on February 28th, 2010 at 4:00 pm. Updated on February 28th, 2010 at 4:00 pm.

» Atrapadas / Condemned to Hell (1984, Argentina)

Atrapadas

I don’t know whether it was the grainy print, or the DVD cover which has Leonor Benedetto looking like a bloke in drag, or maybe the general sleaziness, but Atrapadas (which translates as ‘Trapped’) has a definite ’70s feel about it. I kept waiting for Pam Grier to make an appearance. (more…)

Posted on January 26th, 2010 at 9:16 pm. Updated on February 2nd, 2010 at 7:54 pm.

» Conviction (2001, USA)

Conviction

Carl Upchurch had it tough. Born in 1950 in South Philadelphia, his first memory was apparently of his grandmother killing his grandfather. He grew up in gangs and in and out of trouble, and spent 10 years in jail. Then he found ‘the light within’ and became a religious man, a voice against his fellow prisoners’ meek acceptance of the inevitability of their lives and their incarceration, and an activist for political and social reform. Conviction is his story. (more…)

Posted on January 11th, 2010 at 7:24 pm. Updated on January 11th, 2010 at 10:08 pm.

» Pardon Us (1931, USA)

Pardon Us - Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy

If this is a satire of The Big House (1930), I’m afraid the satirical bits largely passed me by. Other than perhaps poking fun at an arsenal of weapons that suddenly appears in the hands of the prisoners in the final few scenes, I’m not sure that I saw much of a connection between these two prison-movie heavyweights.  This was Laurel and Hardy’s first full length talking movie, and the first movie-length talkie prison comedy, by my reckoning. And better than their shorter silent prison films by quite a margin.  (more…)

Posted on December 19th, 2009 at 9:50 pm. Updated on December 27th, 2009 at 8:38 pm.

» The Keeper (1995, USA)

The Keeper - Giancarlo Esposito as Paul Lamont

Paul Lamont (Giancarlo Esposito) is a bookish correctional officer working in the most bookish part of Brooklyn’s King’s County House of Detention – the law library. He’s a bit at odds with his fellow guards; he’s studying law at night school, he’s not yet so cynical that he regards every prisoner as scum, he has a middle-class schoolteacher wife, and he thinks a bit too deeply about the impact of what he does at work. He takes his work home with him. In every sense, it turns out. (more…)

Posted on November 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 pm. Updated on March 6th, 2016 at 1:14 pm.

» Jacktown (1962, USA)

Jacktown - Dutch and one of his crew make life uncomfortable for Frankie (middle)

“This is Frankie Stossel. A child of God. Was he born to be bad?” the narrator asks in the movie’s opening scene as a newborn baby is smacked into life. Unfortunately there’s no-one around to give this lame 60s morality play a similar kick start. (more…)

Posted on October 24th, 2009 at 4:35 pm. Updated on December 11th, 2009 at 8:58 pm.

» Eduart (2006, Greece)

Eduart - Eshref Durmishi

Eduart (Eshref Durmishi) is a young Albanian who travels to Greece, hoping to become a rock star. He has the looks, but not the talent, it seems. To keep alive, he thieves. He also hustles. At a gay bar, he is picked up and taken home by a rich bloke who is not really his type. He is caught rifling through this bloke’s desk, but that seems to not to dampen the older man’s ardour once an initial attempt to get him to leave is out of the way. Eduart, more appalled than panicked, strangles him and flees. (more…)

Posted on October 21st, 2009 at 9:37 pm. Updated on January 11th, 2010 at 10:39 pm.

» Convict Cowboy (1995, USA)

Convict Cowboy - Jon Voight as Ry Weston

Yeah, it’s a bit schmaltzy at times, but this is an under-rated (or at least undeservedly less well known) addition to the prison sporting contest genre. It has its formulaic elements, too, but is a much better bet than the other rodeo movie of which I’m aware (Stir Crazy, 1980) and the series of The Longest Yard movies (which aren’t about rodeos but take prison sporting events to some very strange places). (more…)

Posted on October 4th, 2009 at 6:10 pm. Updated on January 12th, 2010 at 9:06 pm.

» I Stefania (1966, Greece)

I Stefania

There’s a slight edginess to Stefania’s story which sets it apart, but not very far apart, from your traditional 1930s prison melodrama. (more…)

Posted on September 25th, 2009 at 10:29 pm. Updated on September 25th, 2009 at 10:44 pm.